As promised, here’s how God brought me to where I am today despite my difficult beginning. If you missed that post, check out My Story Part I: An Unfortunate Beginning.
Many years and many bad choices brought me to a point where I was a divorced, single mom. I’d put all my trust in myself and my abilities to generate income, so God stripped that away. My company shut down their east coast operations. I could have transferred to Oregon, but I couldn’t take my daughter away from her father. I couldn’t allow her to grow up without a parent.
Now I was an unemployed, single mom.
So, I moved to a one-bedroom apartment walking distance to my ex-husband, preparing for the worst.
The job market had crashed, and I was “over-qualified.” Out of desperation, I took a job working with people with behavioral disorders. I didn’t have to take it. It was less than fifty percent of my prior income, but I had to do something.
The job was unsafe. It involved taking people down when they got out of control. I got a bloody nose from a punch in the face. There were poo-flingers…
Let’s just say, I had extreme anxiety even thinking about going into work.
After three months, I quit.
I had to try to get back on unemployment.
It was about a week before Christmas and I was waiting for the fact-finding, unsure that I would be approved for unemployment again.
Thankfully, I’d earned a Wii as a reward from my company before they shut down, so I had that for my daughter under the tree. I explained to her that money was tight (an understatement) and asked her to tell me three things she’d like for Christmas, hoping I’d be able to afford one. She only asked for one thing and it was less than twenty dollars, God bless her!
I’d spent the last of my severance package. My father had come to visit and bought me groceries, but the food was running out.
Only a few people knew where I’d moved. No one knew how dire my situation had become. I was too prideful to let anyone know, or to seek assistance from the state…other than the unemployment I’d hoped would come.
My daughter was in school and I was at the end of my rope. My world was squeezing in. This was the first time I was unable to get myself out of a bad spot.
I dropped to my knees and cried out to a God I’d barely spoken to. It was my last resort. In tears, I begged for His forgiveness and help. I made Him a vow: from that day forth, to the best of my ability and understanding, I would do whatever He wanted me to do. I would live my life for Him.
And I meant it.
A few hours later I went to the mailbox. There was a handwritten letter with no return address. I brought it in the house, curious as to what is was and who was sending me mail to an address few knew.
It was a Christmas card with a one hundred dollar gift certificate to Hannaford.
This is what was said:
For the second time that day I dropped to my knees in tears. This time, rather than in despair, it was in utter gratitude and amazement.
As Hagar said,
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” – Genesis 16:13
By using someone to anonymously send this card with God’s words expressing His love, I realized many things, but here are the big three:
- God sees me
- God loves me
- God revealed Himself to me
To be fair, God revealed Himself to me in many ways my whole life, but I either missed or dismissed them. But now, after taking a step of faith, my eyes were open, and I saw God.
God may have used one of His believers to deliver the message, but it came from Him. When I get to heaven, I hope to meet the sender. Until then, I’m glad it was anonymous. It came from God.
I will never forget what God has done for me. This card is my monument.
In my next post, I’ll share what happened after receiving this Christmas card. In typical God-style, it’s pretty amazing.
Until then, know that God uses your every little act of faith and, until you get to heaven, you probably won’t know the result. It doesn’t have to be a big, extravagant thing. It might be as simple as sending a card…anonymously.
And know this:
- God sees you
- God loves you
- God reveals Himself to you, but you may need to take a step of faith toward Him to see Him
Do you need to take a step toward God?
You are loved,
J F Rogers