Have you ever come to the end of yourself and wondered how you were going to go on? Have you ever felt like you had nothing left to give? Have you felt exhausted before your day really began? Have you struggled to get out of bed?
I have…all of the above. I’d struggle to get out of bed, somehow manage to do all the necessary things before starting my workday, then sit at the computer and check on a few things. I might stare at a blank document hoping somehow I’d manage to write something that day. But no. And by 10 am I was exhausted and needed a nap…
I had no idea what was wrong with me. I’m a doer…always working on multiple projects at once. In the year following leaving my job to write full time, I’d republished Astray with a new cover, written and published Adrift and Aloft, produced the audiobook for Astray, written and published two short stories, learned marketing, etc. all the while teaching a Sunday School class on a weekly basis, volunteering as part of a lead team for a new Safe Families ministry, and taking care of a house and a family.
So why was I suddenly unable to function?
I decided to stop trying to write and learn more about marketing. I reached out to one of my online writing groups to seek advice on a class. Many writers responded that it was a good class, worth the money. But one person said she wouldn’t take the class and suggested something completely different–Write Better Faster with Becca Syme.
What on earth? I was asking about a marketing class, why suggest something that had nothing to do with marketing? So, I prayed about it and decided to put marketing on the back burner for the moment and try this class instead.
I’m so glad I did!
When we reached the part about burnout, the more I heard, the more I realized…
I’m in burnout.
I followed Becca’s suggestions and went to my doctor to rule out any other issues. I did have a vitamin and iron deficiency, both would result in fatigue. And my thyroid indicated a stress response which, as soon as I had my stress levels under control, should resolve itself.
But, when I visited the doctor, before the blood tests, they asked me a number of questions to test for depression. As I answered the questions, I realized how bad it sounded. I assured the nurse that I was not depressed. But, I can certainly see how someone would be misdiagnosed when they’re in burnout.
Burnout looks and feels a lot like depression.
Burnout is a crappy thing that I don’t wish on anyone. But, like getting diagnosed with diabetes, I’m glad it happened. Finding out I had diabetes allowed me to change my eating habits, reverse the illness, and become a healthier person. Now, sliding into burnout has allowed me to reevaluate my life to make changes so I can move foward as a healthier person too.
I’m not gonna lie–I’m not out yet. But I’m getting there!
When I look back, I realize I was sliding last spring and spent most of the summer in burnout. I’m in recovery now, but I’m not fully recovered yet. I share this with you because my goal is to raise awareness of burnout and share my experience in hopes that it might help someone else. I’m no expert. But, in the next few blog posts I’ll share what I’ve learned along the way.
Until then, let me share a resource that helped me better understand Burnout–a video series by Becca Syme starting with Writer Burnout and Energy Pennies. As the title indicates, the series is specifically for writers, but I believe they can help anyone.
And, if you’re a believer and think you might be in burnout, let me encourage you to spend more time with God. That is where my healing began…with Him.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
You are loved,
J F Rogers